im feeling much better today. thursday im going to buy a dragon blade from one of my high school friends. it looks pretty badass. only $25! and yesterday i went to oreilys to buy all my brake parts for someone to do for me today which ill find out the damage after school. hes a pretty trustly guy. doesnt push too much for labor if its a quick fix like me motor mounts were. umm. not much else going on. i might book a hotel today, depends on what my boyfriend thinks of where im staying. i dont think he will care. hotels try to rip you off. its almost false advertisement but its not. they advertise $79 a night but in reality thats only for military personel. made me kind of angry. otherwise its $90. now $10 more dollars a night adds up for me because im staying 8 nights. im kind of anxious. as for my relationship were ok. he seems to be finally acting better but it might be too late. ill just have to push through this rough patch and maybe some day we wil be able to fix this whole stupid thing. i dont even miss him anymore. the things he gave me ont really register in my mind like they used to every day. but somehow if he can pull this one off we might be able to make it. i must say this is the worst we have been. in my opinion that is i dont know about him. he doesnt really talk about his emotions to me. makes it kind of hard to understand him. but umm... yeah. im doing allright. i want to say good but i havent done good in a little while now. i dont remember when i was great either. more of a down time for me. when im feeling a certain way it usually takes awhile to work myself back up to where i was. like i thrive on depression and sadness. i kind of harness it once its started. like my heart is a black hole and eventually im going to get myself sucked into it. cool metaphor i came up with the other day.
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